There is no united response to the recent decision regarding how the St. Joseph School District is going to move forward with Plan 4BR, which maintains Benton and Central as the two high schools in St. Joseph. There are a lot of arguments on both sides (or is it all 3 sides?) that are compelling. But a decision has been made, and as a community we need to move forward together for the sake of the children.
This article is long, but the issue is complicated to say the least. We hope you will read ALL of it but certainly search through the underlined and bolded areas to see how we are encouraging caution, transparency, leading by example and the importance of community as we move forward.
We are seeing a lot of responses on social media talking about the “trauma” that children are going to experience because of the decision the District has made. At Voices of Courage Child Advocacy Center we are exposed to children in crisis on a daily basis. Your children. The very children at issue in all the comments we are seeing regarding the school district issues.
The changes that are coming for the District are clearly causing high anxiety for some people in St. Joseph. The 3-school model is steeped in history and pride. There is a definite link between where you grew up and who you are or who you are perceived to be in this community. This can be a good thing, but it also creates a divide that has, at times, become unhealthy.
The only thing we are concerned about now is this: how do we (together) implement Plan 4BR with minimal negative effect on the well-being of the children involved?
What are some of the ways children could be affected?
- Loss of stability and predictability – children’s routines may be disrupted. This won’t be a huge issue for all children. Some would have been disrupted anyway due to moving from one level to another or moving to a new school due to moving houses. But, it will affect some students. Change can trigger anxiety for children with previous trauma histories. These are the children we should be most concerned about.
- Loss of relationships – some students will lose favorite teachers or peers. This can cause anxiety and increases in behaviors or distress. All adults need to be on the lookout for changes in behaviors. But, if your child is ‘losing’ their best friend to another school, you can take action and ensure they see each other at activities, invites to one another’s homes, etc. It’s up to adults to ensure their children aren’t losing their best friend. Many children have good friends who attend different schools prior to this transition, so we know it can be done without trauma.
- Anxiety about the unknown. This is true for children and adults. The District needs to be as transparent as possible as these changes begin to occur. They need to give children and the adults around them time and knowledge to help ease this anxiety.
- Impact on vulnerable populations – We have to consider children with disabilities, English language needs or those who rely on school for their emotional safety and structure. Also, children already experiencing abuse or instability in their homes are especially sensitive to abrupt changes. Again, everyone being transparent will be key going forward. When there is true information to share, share it with the children who will be affected ahead of the change so they can begin to prepare mentally, can ask questions and seek reassurance.
This transition will be “traumatic” only if certain things occur.
- Suddenness. This won’t happen overnight so there is no reason for any child to get to August of next year and only then be told they are going to a different school or their best friend will be somewhere else. Prepare your child for what’s coming and you will reduce the stress and anxiety they experience.
- Lack of communication. The district needs to be clear and probably over-communicate what is going on as it’s happening – and what’s happening next. People, including children, function better when they know what’s going on and what’s coming up next. Communications must be clear and regular – from district to parents and from parents to children.
- Feeling powerless or unheard. While there have been ample opportunities to be heard, that doesn’t make someone feel heard when things don’t go their way. No matter who feels like they ‘lost’ in this situation, that group is going to feel powerless and as if no one listened. Consider other people’s feelings and opinions, not just your own, as we move forward.
- Here is the big one for St. Joseph – the thing that will absolutely make this a traumatic experience for the children involved if not handled properly: that is if the adults around them participate in and facilitate rumors, misinformation and exaggerated stress over the decisions that have been made. Children will likely internalize those feelings of stress and experience trauma as a result.
Adults need to pay attention to what they say and how they act in front of their children about this issue going forward. No matter how angry or upset you might feel, be mindful of transferring that anger and stress onto your child.
Imagine the peace children would feel if they were shown by example that the adults are willing to work together to make a better community FOR THEM. Not creating strife, not adults fretting over losing ‘their’ school, not showing overt anxiety about the changes that are coming – but reconciling yourself to the changes. Lead by example. Show children that everything is going to be all right.
It seems in the comments on social media that some people only want to see disaster coming. Let’s put things in perspective. No one is being physically harmed by these changes. Our feelings are hurt. We have concerns about how this is going to play out for our families.
We need to show children how to handle it when things don’t go our way. You have fought the good fight and it’s time to see the reality for what it is and make the best of the situation – leading by example for children’s sake.
So what can we, as the adults, do to prevent harm going forward?
- Transparent and early communication. Using age-appropriate messaging, tell children what is going on in the most positive way you can. This includes parents and the District. Keep everyone informed as things progress. Provide regular updates to reduce misinformation and give students opportunities to ask questions. If this decision has truly been made and things are moving forward – listen to the students’ questions and see how things are trending.
- Involve children in the transition when possible. High schools can create student “voice” committees, feedback surveys, art or writing projects to help students express how they are feeling about the transition. Even if the community chooses not to work together, the students certainly can and they are the ones more likely to do so if allowed. This can help them begin to build their own sense of community in their schools and gain a sense of control at the same time.
If your child is in a school receiving new students – talk to them about acceptance and welcoming those new students. No one is the enemy here and most certainly not the children.
- Maintain relationships wherever possible. Keep your child’s peer groups intact as students experience new placements. School shouldn’t be the only place they spend time with friends. Teachers will most likely talk to one another about students they have concerns about, and a warm handoff between teachers, counselors or social workers is a great way to ease the transition.
- Provide as much predictability as possible during the transition. The district can provide school tours for “new” students and families so they can get an idea of what their new school will look and feel like. They can have an opportunity to meet teachers, administrators, counselors and other staff as a way to ease their discomfort.
- Mental Health Supports are needed during this transition. If schools have on-site mental health support available, they can have check-ins before, during and after the transition for students who may be struggling with the move. If schools don’t have those mental health supports in place – let’s talk about it getting it. Don’t substitute for this important role. Let’s get the right people in charge of checking on the children’s mental health.
Maybe schools can create some small group sessions that focus on coping skills and emotional regulation. Finally there needs to be a referral process in place for children with higher needs that aren’t able to be addressed in small groups or with a social worker. School social workers are a great asset for students, but sometimes an individual therapist is needed.
- Don’t forget about the adults. Caregiver workshops could be created to guide parents on talking to children about the changes and the stress associated with those changes. Ensure that new routines, transportation issues and academic expectations are clearly outlined so parents know what is going on. The schools may have to create new habits, send reminders more often and provide reassurances as this transition takes place.
Here are a few other ideas – some things the District could do moving forward:
- Have some trauma-informed teams in place that would include mental health providers, administration and family advocates. These teams can take on issues as they arise and hopefully have it covered from all sides but especially utilizing a trauma-informed lens.
- The District needs to ensure that there is coordination across campuses so that expectations, behavior systems and communications are aligned across the district. A lot of parents are already presuming their child will be made to feel left out or marginalized. If everyone is getting the same treatment across all campuses, hopefully these feelings will be lessened or eliminated. This can allow for some trust building, which is much needed.
- Don’t forget about Community Partners. Our experience has been that school districts tend to circle the wagons when issues arise, preferring to handle things internally. This is not the model they should take here. It doesn’t lend itself to transparency, trust building or open communication. Include your local mental health agencies, after-school programs and your faith communities where appropriate for additional support. You are going to need it!
- Keep an eye on overall student well-being now more than ever. Utilize mental health screeners or check-ins. Identify patterns in attendance, discipline and academic performance during the transition. Staying ahead of these issues will benefit everyone involved.
The closing or merging of schools in our district is inevitable. But associated trauma doesn’t have to be. Getting this decision behind them can now open the doors to careful planning using a trauma-informed approach. In this way, children will feel seen, supported and safe. Isn’t that the goal?
We would urge everyone to take a step back from their personal heartache over the district’s most recent decision. Ask yourself what’s best for your child’s well-being. Is it best to hear you complain, become angry and cause more stress? Or might it be better to take some time to accept what’s happening then address your child about how THEY are feeling about it. Communicate with them regularly about THEIR feelings and do your best as their caregiver to help them transition.
This is life. They have to learn how to deal with change and loss. In this situation – you are their teacher. What example are you setting for them? How are you helping (or hurting) their ability to move forward and thrive?
Again we ask you to imagine a community where everyone works together for the greater good. A community where children are the priority, where their future and safety are our biggest concern.
We try to imagine this every day here at Voices of Courage. We know (after over 30 years of working with children in crisis) that children are not naturally resilient, but absolutely can be when they feel supported and have good and loving examples around them.
Let’s all be that good example for the kids’ sake. Let’s show them that we can overcome this upheaval and come out better on the other side as a community working together FOR THEM. That is the healthiest route forward for everyone – especially our children.